Janine showed up at breakfast this morning. I wasn’t expecting her, because it wasn’t way after the kids were supposed to be in bed, and I was beyond done. It was the start of a new day, with new mercies and a new attitude, right?? What opened the door for the flood of emotion that caused me to yell at my kids and turn the morning into a disaster?? A toaster, two eggo waffles, and two little boys.
My husband is out of town on business (things always seem to happen when he’s gone..), and I was trying to get the kids out the door for school. I work a few days a week at their school, so on those days, I have to get myself ready too. Well, I stayed up too late on Netflix watching girl movies Josh doesn’t like, and might have woken up later than I planned. And I might have woken them up a little later too. And I might not have had a breakfast plan because I’ve been too busy to meal plan. Behold the make up for the perfect storm: husband out of town, tired mom that happens to be running late, kids not wanting to move, missing contigo for the little one for school, nothing easy for breakfast, and major time constraints. I mean seriously… One kid got dressed and then got BACK in the bed. One was fully dressed but laying under the coffee table in the living room. I could only find two different shoes for the “baby”, and one kids pants looked like he had lost a wrestling match with the dog. And he had just put them on!!
So you would think that eggo waffles would be a good thing on a morning like this, right? So would I. IT WASN’T. Listen, I know that there are a lot better things that my kids could be eating than processed frozen waffles. And used to, I would make eggs and smoothies and all kinds of healthy stuff for breakfast.. Enter school… I’m just grateful for those waffles. And instant oatmeal in packages. Anything that does not require me. I have a big, beautiful 4 slice toaster that my sweet hubby bought me a while back. It makes mornings like this just a little bit easier on my already throbbing brain. I’m in the bathroom, putting on my makeup and getting myself dressed, when I hear shrieking and shouting coming from the kitchen. I wait a minute to see if it will pass, cause, seriously, it’s not uncommon. No luck. Now because I waited, it got louder and more intense.. More kids got involved and more yelling ensued. It was the 20 foot walk to the kitchen that did it. I just couldn’t get there fast enough. In the 5 seconds it took me to get to the source of the noise, I was all worked up. And so were they. There are now 4 children gathered around the toaster, three of them yelling and one just taking up space. I just can’t. I just can’t understand why this noise is coming out of these children this early in the morning. So then I yell, because, well, now I’m mad. And I don’t even know why! I just know they’re yelling!! And I don’t like it! So I yell too! Makes sense right??
After the yelling stops, I very calmly(?) begin the interrogation. And of course everyone waits their turn to gently explain why my house sounds this way this early in the morning. This is after school yelling. It shouldn’t be happenin yet.. A certain two little boys were the source of the “discussion” with a certain older boy acting as judge and jury. A certain girl was just standing there, watching it all unfold, holding her waffles. So after the yelling stopped, and we could all hear again, I found out what catastrophe had befallen my children. Seriously yall. My two boys did not want their two waffles being heated up next to each other… In a four slice toaster, they did not want their waffles to be near one another. I just stood there. I was expecting something so much more life changing than this. Someone had hit someone, or called them an ugly name, or stole their waffle. Something remarkable.. Nope, no such luck. I don’t remember exactly what I said. I just remember being unable to really process it. It was too early. And honestly, who can really make sense of this??
The rest of the morning proceeded in a similar fashion, and we may have gotten to school a little late. I would love to say that I repented to my children and it was a great time of discipling and instructing. It wasn’t. It was survival. And now I feel guilty. So when we get home today, I will apologize to my kiddos for the way I behaved. And they will graciously forgive me like they do every other time Mama gets frustrated. I wish it happened less often. I am trying to be more patient, and not react before I slow down and process it all. I have been working on asking the Lord to help me respond in situations as He would, to physically stop myself from speaking until I contemplate how He would have me respond. It’s a work in progress. And it’s slow. But it is my heart.
And I also need to be wise and recognize situations that may contribute to a more stressful environment. Like not having a firm breakfast plan. And just handing them their waffles on paper plates. 🙂
So, not much encouragement offered today. Except that maybe you struggle in this way too. And maybe you need to ask the Lord to help control your tongue and your actions too. And just maybe you need to repent to your kids. And at least now you know that you’re not the only one who yells over waffles. 🙂